The Wedding Speech Handbook: ... how to make a great speech on the day it matters most (Telling Experience Book 2) by MacMahon Michael J

Author:MacMahon, Michael J [MacMahon, Michael J]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pembroke Media
Published: 2018-08-04T16:00:00+00:00

The Father of the Bride

The Father of the Bride’s speech is always the first, according to our traditions.

In the past, the bride’s family was responsible for the entire cost of the wedding. Nowadays the couple themselves often pay part or all of the wedding costs. That doesn’t change the fact that the father of the bride usually speaks first.

By ‘father of the bride’ I mean whoever has taken on that role at the wedding. So I include under this heading not only the bride’s father but maybe her stepfather, maybe a brother. It’s whoever ‘gives her away’, to use our quaint and somewhat anachronistic term. For second marriages, the role is sometimes taken by a son. I once fulfilled this role for a neighbour’s family. Although I wasn’t a relative, I was ‘giving the bride away’, so I gave that first speech.

This first speech is generally given at the end of the meal (or ‘wedding breakfast’, as we used to call it). In fact the British tradition has been that for any formal occasion that involves a meal and speeches, those speeches are all at the end of the meal. By contrast, at dinner parties in some other cultures (for example in Sweden), a host might make a short speech of welcome in which every guest is welcomed with some appropriate words addressed to each one in turn; and that speech is at the start of the meal. Then the speaker can relax and enjoy the meal and the drinks.

I was giving a Father of the Bride speech recently and I was very glad that my daughter decided to follow the lead of those sensible Swedes.

She’s not the only one: at British weddings more and more couples are deciding to spread the speeches out throughout the meal. I welcome the trend.

So … what are you going to say?

Your primary tasks are threefold: to welcome the guests (in this context you speak as if you are the host, whether or not you are paying the costs of the wedding); then to tell everyone what a wonderful person the bride is (in case they didn’t know) and to say something about the groom; and finally to propose a toast. Your toast will be ‘the bride and groom’.

So your first job is to welcome the guests. Even though you won’t know them all personally, and even though the event has perhaps been going for a couple of hours when you start speaking, this task is paramount.

A simple phrase of welcome is enough; but it’s always nice to add something. For example, you could make a special mention of anybody who has come a particularly long way; an / or some of the very oldest guests; and any guests that the bride and groom think should have a special mention. This last point illustrates the crucial importance of speakers coordinating in advance with each other.

Then, and most importantly, the central part of your speech will be all about your daughter: her life to date, her achievements and her personal qualities.

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